Yes, it's me! I'm still here! I've had to change my name and wear this horrible itchy human disguise. I was woken at four o'clock in the morning by the government's greysuits knocking at my door and breaking in. They gave me ten minutes to pack my belongings and come with them. So I escaped down my specially prepared tunnel and ran off into the night.
I had to leave the comforts of modern life behind and exist on nothing but my wits for twenty days, only returning once to put up a FOR SALE sign outside my home. Luckily I'm a cow, so eating wasn't a problem. After twenty days I changed the sign for one that said SOLD and I moved back in wearing my cunning disguise. They'd taken all my belongings, the sock page that me and Serendipity had worked so hard on was lost, all my poems, all burnt for not conforming. These are sad times.
"It's the glasses that do it."
Soon the four o'clock mob were back, luckily I was waiting for them. I explained that MegaMEGAmoo was gone - I didn't know where to. They tortured me for three hours and only stopped when I told them he had gone to infect a French herd somewhere. I never saw them again.
So now I am living as the human, Ogodelpus. Maybe someday we'll see an end to this madness. Maybe someday a cow will be able to roam the fields freely again. To eat the grass. To swim in the rivers. To dance in the streets! Oh, no hang on...
No wait there was real reason I wanted to be a cow - I'm sure of it...